Parents who fear social stigma will become more open and accept their children’s sexual orientation without prejudice.
A gay couple who were married according to Hindu rites, and had their marriage registered in Uttar Pradesh last month, have fled home, as their marriage has been discovered to be registered under the Hindu Marriage Act, which does not permit same-sex unions. The case has caused something of a legal conundrum, as the couple, Chunmun Kumar and Simran, maintain that they had informed the registry officials of their gender, though the officials deny this. The latter claim that the couple in question submitted two affidavits, one as a man and the other as a woman.
Afternoon Voice spoke to Nikki, a gay working in South Mumbai’s posh saloon. He said, “I am gay but my parents are yet to accept this fact. Moreover, they are undergoing trauma too. Indian moral policing has no limits. Several gay couples are leading a happy life by concealing the truth. But when you disclose these aspects people make news of it.”
“Every parent should be standing for the happiness of their children instead of thinking about the “so called society”. I appreciate the courage of Harish’s mother who went against all odds to post matrimonial ad for her son’s happiness. I wish all parents who know or have idea about their child being a gay, should follow this as an example. I wish Harish Iyer will get all the happiness and the right life partner for him. He is blessed for having a mother like this,” said Amy Chowdhary, Fashion Designer and Advisor.
“It’s a most beautiful gesture and heart of a mother who epitomizes love for her child. A very brave and a large heart which will give courage to many to accept their children as they are,” said Rohhit Verma, Fashion Designer.
Harish Iyer’s mother wants her son to get married and settle as early as possible. So far, there is no record or report of gay marriage breakups.
“It’s not one parent who is struggling, many parents want their sons or daughters to be settled in life,” said Padma Iyer, mother of Harish Iyer.
“It is still very difficult to under-stand what exactly could be the legal issue because gay marriages are not illegal but they do not have legal sanction. Thus there is a difference of something being illegal and something not having legal sanction,” Harish said.
American- Indian lesbian couple Shannon and Seema had got married as per ancient Hindu rituals. The couple got married in a traditional north-Indian style wedding. The wedding rituals were performed by Dr. Shukavak Dasa, who had performed the same sex wedding last year for Shannon and Seema.
Dr Shukavak Dasa told this newspaper that marriage is union of two beautiful souls. Choosing partner to live his /her entire life is someone’s own choice. I am priest and performing rituals is my job. Everyone is equal for God. I don’t see anything legal or illegal in such marriages.
Sandeep and Karthik, got married in California and spread some cheer to the queer community in Kerala. Acceptance of homosexuality might be modern thought, but these two decided to celebrate the acceptance of their families in the most Indian way they could think of – the big Indian wedding. Sandeep and Karthik met on an Internet dating website in 2012. They began to date and were soon inseparable. They sought their parents’ permission in 2013, and in a move that surprised them, both sets of parents gave them the go-ahead. The couple took about a year to organise their grand wedding, in which relatives from around the world attended. The wedding pictures and video have been the topic of discussion in closed online gay groups in Kerala.
“I think it’s absolutely normal for any mother to wish for her son to settle down. My mother is no different. She’s 57, and fears I’ll be alone after she’s gone,” said Harish.
“Last week, she asked me a question any mom would ask her 36-year-old son: “Are you dating someone? Are you fond of someone?’ And when my answer was in the negative, my mom did what any Indian mother would do — she decided to place an ad in a newspaper,” he added.