Wednesday, June 16, 2021
HomeEntertainmentLindsay Lohan Converts to Islam, Has Yet to Read Quran

Lindsay Lohan Converts to Islam, Has Yet to Read Quran

Sorry, all other world religions! It looks like you’ve lost the battle for the coveted soul of Ms. Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay Lohan-AV

The non-working actress (who says she is not currently engaged to Egor Tarabasov, as previously rumored) is reportedly in the process of converting to Islam.

Lohan was spotted carrying a copy of the Quran (Islam’s most sacred text) while walking to her first day of community service at a Brooklyn childcare center last year.

Linds was asked about her apparent newfound spirituality during a recent interview with The Sun, and while she didn’t confirm that she’s a practicing member of the world’s second-largest religion, she tellingly didn’t deny it either:

“I’m a very spiritual person and I’m really open to learning,” Lindsay told the tabloid. “America has portrayed holding a Quran in such a different way to what it actually is.”

Asked if she’s still toting the quran around, Lindsay replied, “I’m not done reading it. Do you know how long that would take? It takes so long.”

We’d like to take this opportunity to point out that most translations of the Quran are about four-fifths the length of the Christian new Testament, and many Muslims say they have no trouble reading it in a single day.

Lindsay’s been carrying hers around since last year. Just sayin’.

Asked about the role that religion plays in her life, Lindsay replied with the following Palin-esque word salad:“We all have a similar belief in whatever it may be personally.”

Uh-huh. Is there any way her spiritual beliefs could possibly lead her to a vow of silence?

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