India is teeming with the human catastrophe – rapes, molestation, child marriages, gender issues have become a routine thing. Girls are not safe in family and young boys too are vulnerable to surroundings. Recently, a 12-year old boy was booked under the POCSO Act after a teenaged girl, who gave birth to a baby girl, claimed that he had permeated her. Both the boy and the 17-year old girl are relatives and the case under the Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act had been registered on the basis of a statement given by her. DNA test was done to verify the claim of the girl, who delivered the baby girl in a private hospital. The medical reports have confirmed that the boy is the father of the child. He would be prosecuted as per the Juvenile Justice Act. A case has also been registered against the private hospital under POCSO Act for not informing them on the same day when the girl was admitted for delivery. This entire incidence leaves many questions, how could parents wait till the daughter delivered the baby. Why they failed to detect her pregnancy? Why the girl remained quiet for so long? What is the actual story behind all this? Girl was very much older to boy, why she did not inform her family or the elders at home when all this happened, and why she did not stop the guy? A kid of 12 years definitely did not force himself to a girl of 17.
Why the family members of the girl were not booked for bringing her to the hospital for admission without informing the police about the entire incident? The new born baby has been handed over to the childcare institution after the girl’s relatives informed the district child line authorities that they were not ready to accept it. If they were not ready for the child why did they let this situation happen? If they had consulted doctor and lodged police complaint; this birth could have been avoided. The attraction towards opposite gender and indulging in sex is one of the inbuilt animal instincts for survival. Many times, children get involved in such acts without knowing the reparations. Rather than giving them cause for embarrassment, society should strongly address such issues. In a civilized society, the parents, the society and good moral education could save children from indulging in sex. What about legal aspects? There should be an in-depth investigation into whether the conception took place with the consent of both partners and any type of wedding had taken place prior to that. As both of them are minors, their parents are to be questioned and legal action should be initiated against them.
Teenage boys normally wear the mask, an invisible shield. They pose to be something for the outside world, which is artificial, self-confidence and boldness, and normally hide the shame felt at their feelings of vulnerability, powerlessness, and isolation. Boys cannot open themselves to anyone. It is thus difficult to know their state of mind behind the disguise. As a result, they remain unhappy and lag behind in every aspect. Many times, these young teens those are neglected by the family, crave for love and attention, land up finding partner at such a tender age which leads them to unwanted incidences.
Many of the boys live behind a mask of masculine bravado that hides the genuine self to conform to our society’s expectations. They feel, it is necessary to cut themselves off from any feelings that society teaches them. They think, it’s necessary that they handle their problems alone. A boy is not expected to reach out — to his family, his friends, his counsellors, or coaches — for help, comfort, understanding and support. And so he is simply not as close as he could be to the people who love him and yearn to give him the human connections of love, caring, and affection every person needs.
The boy who is having problems may seem cheerful and resilient while keeping inside the feelings of being troubled, lonely, afraid and desperate. Boys learn to wear the veneer so tactfully, it can be difficult to detect what is really going on inside them and thus helping them becomes difficult. Many times, these children don’t know what they actually want and what they are pretending to be. Generation is running a rat race and competition exists everywhere. Working parents, nuclear family, no time for children, no bond other than just glued by wants and haves. The problems surface only when boys go “over the edge” and get into trouble, start to fight with friends, take drugs or start drinking, are diagnosed with clinical depression, erupt into physical violence, or come home with a black eye or find a partner and get in physical comfort with opposite sex. Their only intention is to find pleasure and security. This is high time where relations are abused, girls are molested by known people at large and boys are just left alone assuming they are born strong and don’t need support or care. Nowadays, family elders and parents hardly make efforts to understand their children. There are many ways to understand your children’s genuine feelings and experience. Being parents, you should always remain alert. Look for those early signs of trouble. These signs include everything from bad grades to rowdy behaviour, from “seeming quiet” to manifesting symptoms of depression, from consuming drugs or alcohol to becoming a perpetrator or victim of violence. Thus, they become sensitive to the early signs of the masking of feelings. Talk to them, understand and hold them, be gentle and kind to them. Show them that they mean a lot to you and that you are proud of them. They need to feel our compassion and determines that we understand, love and respect the real person in them. Somewhere, we all as a society needs to play a very responsible role in making this generation walk with right approach towards life.
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