The field of dance is growing manifold and due to this there are many dancers who remain insecure about their profession. This develops into backbiting and talking ill about other co-dancers and choreographers.
Dance being a creative field is one such art that has many differences in thoughts and this is main cause of blabber mouths, also there are some dancers who get good work and other do not. Some talk about their work before they do it and some talk about it after it is done. Many use media as a form to get recognition, some do not believe in it at all and nowadays social media has become a great platform to talk about work too.
It is said that two same style dancers can never be friends, as there will always be differences and jealousy between them due to their love of dance. It is almost like two girls in love with the same man ‘Dance.’ So if a dancer shares a secret about anything with another co dancer. Can the dancer who is the confidant really be one?
Are you a blabber-mouth dancer? And do you often land in trouble because of it? Well, I feel that it is not always true. This depends from person to person and how competitive you are with your art. I feel there are some ways which I can suggest you to become a trustworthy friend and a co-dancer who is a good keeper of secrets.
Everybody and every dancer has secret and nobody likes dancer who cannot be trusted with a secret. So, if you are not privy to the ‘secrets’ in your family and friends’ circle, that is probably because you cannot be trusted. Well, do not lose heart. Here are some tips for you to turn more ‘trustworthy’ as a dancer.
Be a discreet dancer
Be sensible. For example, if you know that your friend dancer has been removed from a project and it has been offered to you, the right thing to do is inform your dancer friend. But before you go marching to expose it, gently broach the subject, maybe your friend already is suspecting something amiss. If yes, tell the truth, but do not exaggerate. Also, see if your friend can handle it. Sometimes, people prefer not knowing the truth because it’s too painful.
Do not hint that you know one
It is tempting to show off that you know something more that others do not. But giving into this temptation is the first step towards letting the cat out of the bag. That is because once people know that you are hiding something, they will try various tricks to wriggle it out of you.
Change the topic
If you are among a group of dancers, who are discussing matters related to the secret you know, it is best not to participate in it. Keep mum. And the moment you feel uneasy, change the topic. For eg: if you are with a group of dancer friends and they are talking about the next film and who all are a part of the project, if you know all of it but do not want to discuss, better to keep shut or change topic or move out of the space for a while.
Too much to handle
A dancer is an emotional person and many things hurt them easily. If you feel you will not be able to handle the magnitude of a particular information, refuse to hear it. Spare yourself the emotional burden and the inevitable guilt later of betraying someone’s trust.
Check the timeline
Secrets are of many types, and a dancer many a times knowingly or unknowingly happens to hear the secrets of other dancers and choreographers. I also know it is difficult to keep a secret for too long. So best is to clarify how long a secret has to be kept. Whether it is a few days, weeks, months, or years, never divulge secrets until the time is right. There are also secrets that you may have to take to your grave. It is important to categorise secrets.
Write it down
Writing serves as a catharsis. If you are feeling burdened with a secret and are tempted to blurt it out, write it down in your diary or your journal. If you are afraid someone will read your diary, write on a piece of paper and shred it later.
A dancer is someone who travels and meets many people, their work gets them to interact with other emotional people too, so as a dancer it becomes very important that we keep secrets shared with us and not discuss it with the world. I hope this piece of advice of mine today will help reduce the blabber mouth dancer.
(Sandip Soparrkar is a well known Latin and Ballroom dancer, a World Book of Records holder and a Bollywood choreographer who has been honoured with National Achievement Award and National Excellence Award by the Govt of India. He can be contacted on firstname.lastname@example.org)