As I have aged, I have become kinder to and less critical of myself. I have become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world, too soon before they understood the great freedom that comes with ageing. Whose business is it if I choose to read, or play on the computer until 4 am. I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60s & 70s and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging tummy and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And eventually, we remember the important things. Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one or when a child suffers or even when somebody’s beloved pet is hit by a car?
I can say that I am a kind of sample who didn’t get love from my brother and sister in terms of love. Though I am the eldest, these younger lot of herd left me mid-way squandering all the money that my father left behind when he took off for his heavenly abode. My heart broke with a thud that I could hear for a long time. But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart that has never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived enough to have my hair turning grey and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into grooves on my face. So many have never laughed and too many have died before their hair could turn silver.As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don’t question myself anymore. I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being older. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day.
So, I still live on staring at the sky and hoping that God will one day bless me with bliss until I close my eyes.`
(The views expressed by the author in the article are his/her own.)
