Wednesday, September 22, 2021
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Why ‘woman’ is enemy of ‘womanhood’?

[dropcap]W[/dropcap]e are in the 21st century and boasting about the woman’s liberation but somewhere our mindsets are yet to be changed. We, as women, are the enemies of womanhood, might be out of insecurity, jealousy or that sadist pleasure of overpowering others to feel superior. By this, we land up committing atrocities against other woman (Here I am saying ‘we’ being a part of woman species). Many learned men and think-tank commented long ago that the women species are complicated and difficult to understand. There are many wicked women who not only vitiate minds of other women but they lobby against few to achieve their motives, either it is in politics, neighbourhood, society or within the family.

Dowry deaths to domestic violence or neighbour’s quarrel, we have seen brutality against woman from mom-in-law to lady neighbour, if you get stuck in wrong place with wrong woman. Life becomes hell and in such situations most cruel gossip mongers would be woman herself. We say womanhood is blessing because she brings another life to this earth, she is kind, tolerant and generous by nature. Mother Nature has blessed woman with all good things because she nurtures the generations, but sometimes I feel these statements are just bookish, the reason that woman can be kind to her own children or her own people of some side but the moment it comes to larger perspective her nature changes.

Being a journalist and lawyer, I visit many family courts. Recently, I was doing a feature on 498A. While going through the documented evidences, I come to the conclusion that in 99 per cent cases, its woman who drags other woman to the court, most of the cases were of extra marital affairs. Atrocities and abuse is another saga, there are volumes to read and analyse about that. Married women have her own challenges whereas singles have to go through worst scenarios.

Just to explain you in simple way, my neighbour who is single and I’m too single, are best friends. We have our own lives. She is in her creative world and I am in my news world. We hardly meet but whenever we meet we laugh at the mean world around us. From past few months, somebody put garbage on our doors and on foot wears. We were wondering, when society has passed a rule to keep the premise empty and clean, some negate the rules. We were the sufferers who are law abiding citizen and every day victimised and troubled for following the rules. We keep our footwear, garbage, waste in, but whenever we open the door the other’s garbage was there to welcome us. One fine day, we just tried to shift that garbage from our door, and one harsh voice came out saying “frustrated unmarried middle age bitches, they don’t have families, one is orphan and other one is without family, and thank god, I am getting married soon” then other woman’s voice came out from same family with all ultimate slangs, which are not worth to mention here. I sighted this example to tell Mumbai is a metropolitan city, here many girls come for earning their living, and some are single out of circumstances and some out of choice. But what is wrong if one is single? Aren’t we in much better position in comparison to others?

Also the questions to ask are, how are you actually as a family, where do you stand?  Do you have the right thinking, the right values, the right intellect, the right mutual love and respect and most importantly the right morals to question others morals? What is your contribution to your children? What is your contribution to your society? What is your contribution to the world? These are fundamental questions each one must ask their conscience before questioning others. Today, when we try to educate men to respect women, we also need to consciously educate women to respect and honour other women too. What goes around always comes around… It’s law of karma.

My intention to write this editorial is to just express my concern towards those women, who are victimised by another women and growing intolerance in women’s world. Every family is blessed with some womankind, somewhere we all need to learn to be kind enough for others.

I grew up surrounded by lots of friends but a huge group of them comprised boys. In my profession, there are more males as compared to females. My office has more males than females; my school had more boys than girls. Even today, my school and college friends meet with the same feeling. As I grew up, I realized things hadn’t changed much. Not that, I was a tomboy or something, I naturally jelled more with the boys or may be because of less girls’ students. I never had to bother about my plaits being in place, my frocks neat or mind my playthings, I am single or committed, I am at ease with them. Men always gave less encounters as compared to women. They were easy, not pretentious and not bitchy. In fact, the solidarity I share with the guys was simple and hassle-free. Sometimes, they treat you as you are one of them, but surprisingly you feel comfortable in your own skin with them around. They are less judgemental; they hardly care about your looks, status.

Women, unlike men, are self-conscious about everything that they have. From the money they are making, to the brands they are wearing, to the way they look while they work out, they are at constant war with their inner selves. Some use this to get better each day while others compare this self-consciousness with the way how other girls are putting up, only to hate them even more. Women love gossiping about other women, about their clothes, makeup, walking style, boyfriends, or unnecessary tantrums. They sometimes even pass judgements and even lobby by creating opinion about you for others.

Many women even tell their children to stay away from this person to that person, because the affection of one woman grabs the attention of other woman’s child. Woman goes to an extent of poisoning the ears of their kids against particular entity, if they decide to hate them. Anyway, I have criticized all the odds of women but to conclude, there are women who make wonderful lovers, wives, friends, mothers, daughters, companions, bosses and authorities. However, the kind of stuff she has seen while growing up might not have been exactly great. Except her mother, most women in her life had always been judgmental to the way she talks, dresses or looks, even family members. It’s sometimes not the boys but the other women in our lives to an extent are responsible for our conditioning. The rest, they say, is genes. Women may like other women but never be too fond of them, they are made that way.

Let’s change by now….

 (Any suggestions, comments or dispute with regards to this article send us on [email protected])

Dr Vaidehi Tamanhttp://www.vaidehisachin.com
Dr Vaidehi an Accredited Journalist from Maharashtra is bestowed with Honourary Doctorate in Journalism, Investigative Journalist, Editor, Ethical Hacker, Philanthropist, and Author. She is Editor-in-Chief of Newsmakers Broadcasting and Communications Pvt. Ltd. for 11 years, which features an English daily tabloid – Afternoon Voice, a Marathi web portal – Mumbai Manoos, monthly magazines like Hackers5, Beyond The News (international) and Maritime Bridges. She is also an EC Council Certified Ethical Hacker, Certified Security Analyst and is also a Licensed Penetration Tester which caters to her freelance jobs.

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