Hello again, week after week I have been pouring out my knowledge on a deeper understanding of the human mind. I have spent the last 20 years of my life researching this area of human existence. This week, let me share with you a hack that shall dramatically increase your social value manifold. Psychology is the study of why people act in specific ways. We deal with people on a daily basis. So, it becomes very important to understand why people do the things they do. This week, let me help you bring out the charmer in you. I shall help you demystify this wonderful trait that until now was the domain of a privileged few. Charming anyone is a science. When you look at it as a science it becomes easier to decode. We need to first understand that the decisions people make are made subconsciously and with very little awareness of reality. There might be clear reasons to act logically in a given circumstance and yet we may ignore all of them for no apparent reason. Our conscious thought is governed by our unconscious will. Numerous psychological studies have been carried out to study human behaviour. Let me cite the most famous one: Ivan Pavlov’s dog.
Pavlov, a Russian psychologist, noted that his dog began to salivate when it anticipated a meal. Pavlov began to ring a bell every time he fed his dog and paired the two behaviours together. When Pavlov started simply ringing the bell by itself, the dog salivated as if there was actual food coming. The dog thought he was getting food simply by hearing the bell because the two behaviours had been neurologically linked in his brain. This is also the basis of Neuro linguistic programming NLP. By using this science, it is possible for us to become scientifically and subconsciously desired.
You can make yourself endearing, likeable, funny, convincing, persuasive, trustworthy, and magnetic. For most people, likability is a game of chance, but that is far from the truth. Likability can be triggered, summoned, and engineered. Here is the trick. Numerous studies have confirmed that peoples’ moods are linked to the memories they are focused on. In other words, happy memories create happy moods and vice versa. This is a great understanding and tool for any person wanting to charm anyone. If you can accurately invoke anything that was present at the time of a positive memory, the person you want to charm will unconsciously slip into the mood they were in during that memory. For instance, if the best moment of the person you want to charm was when she got an award in college. If you get enough details of that memory and display things that would remind her of that day, it would directly impact her mood. She might not understand why and link the mood boost to your presence. This is the secret of any charmer. To initiate this, you have to take away all focus from yourself and become supremely interested in the other person’s life. Ask them about their life, what makes them happy. Charmers know the secret to being likeable is to make people around them feel good and energized. The best way to know what mood a person is in is by asking them a neutral question. People will react to a neutral question in a way that reflects how they feel. The easiest question to ask is “How was your day”? Their tone of answering and body language will give away their mood. If their answer comes in a lukewarm tone or they outright talk about how annoying something or someone is, you are in a prime position to improve their mood. Here is where you bring up a past memory that you are aware of. You know that this event had made them excited. This will instantly change their mood. For example, if you know your friends loves to workout and is always excited about going to the gym, ask them to guide you in your weight loss program or in your diet. Or ask them to narrate to you how they manage to stay so fit. By bringing up memory elements that are tied to happy moods they will start associating the happy mood to your presence. If you play your cards right, people will subconsciously start associating their happy moods with you. When you are successful in creating a happy mood, or dragging someone out from a low mood consistently, they can’t help but feel drawn to you.
Until next week,
Stay Positive, Stay Abundant