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Love and its complications

Liberals
India is a country of many religions; each religion has its own norms and values. The liberals believe that a person can make rational choices when it comes to selecting and following a religion. They believe that one can marry anyone from any religion but they don’t talk about the consequences. For them, marriage is between two people, religion should not be a factor. They don’t consider other social factors like family systems, economics and the impact such marriages have on social stability and family stability.

In India, Hindus and the converts (people who still carry values of Hinduism) consider daughters as their pride, when someone from the other faith marries their daughter; it destabilises their life till their death. The parents, the siblings and other members of the family are isolated in their community and then the frustrating life if compromises are not made. The liberals are blind to this view!

The women (and men) all over the world are capable to make their own choices; both have a rational mind. But, why is that, it is the women which has to compromise on religion? The media which should not have any tags, has not pointed out to this, they are known to empower women is silent on women compromising on their religion, especially in the Hadiya case. Isn’t it wrong that women have to compromise on their religion, whenever they marry outside their religion?

Liberals also ignore the fact that Islam, Christianity and other religion convert people from other religion before marriage to an individual from their religion. No one has raised this point which is against freedom of religion. If A falls in love with B, A wants B to convert because the religion demands B (most cases women) to convert because she is from other religion. This is against love if you are in love with the other person, why do you want him/her to compromise, let the other person follow their religion!

Conservatives (Connotation: someone who holds on to his/her values)

Religion is something which is highly personal and people are born into it. Parents pass on their religion to their children. Religion is the main frame of reference outside the corporate world. Cognitive consonance happens only when everything happens according to one’s own religion. All is well, when people are getting married and converting to our religion. But, when the coin flips in the other direction, things are not sweet. Things would have been completely different if there was no provision in any religion that one should convert before marrying the other from another religion.

Hindus, Muslims, and Christians are completely different culturally from each other. All the three religions don’t like people from their religion being converted to the other. The constitution allows religious propagation; this has been used as religious propaganda in India. This propaganda wants people from other religions to convert into their religion. Most of the hate against any religion happens during religious gatherings of any kind. Hindus don’t propagate hate during any religious gathering but questions have been raised on the other two religions. These religious gatherings have to be recorded in audio/video format because hate is mostly spread in close walls not openly.

Every individual should be smart enough to attend proceedings which are being recorded because this freedom of propagation should not come at the cost of other religions. If not then he/she is also a culprit because he/she is consuming hate without a conscious thought. They will tell you that it is not rational; they will talk of reason when they want to degrade other religions.

Conservatives are resistant to change, they want others to accept what they think or the religion has held to be right for over the years (ex: Triple talak). They don’t want people to change to other religions. They are happy to accept people in their religion but they don’t want their child to convert. They are hesitant to also modify their religion. They will also resort to violence in extreme cases to preserve their values. There are cases in the public where people were killed for marrying outside their religion. But, then the society is not fair to the families from whom the daughter is taken by people of the other religion.

Realities

Parents: Hindus and the converts consider their daughters as their pride and when the female child switches religion, the family especially parents face a lot of hardship. The first one is psychological. At home the situation will be worst than anyone passing away; when one passes away people may feel sad for few days. But, when a boy/girl switches religion the parents are dying every day, even the strongest minds collapse. This is worst than living in a state were terrorism is dominant. The parents will raise many points but this one is the main point: Why can’t the guy switch his religion when he marries a woman from another religion? If his love his so great ask him to compromise…
The second hardship which parents face in the society is that they will be labeled as those people… whose daughter ran away with another guy of another religion! This will also lead to social isolation of the family. Something which liberals never speak off! Thirdly they will be tortured for money or any physical asset, if the man is incapable of anything in life except love. The parent’s side will only come out in the open when they speak out; normally the case is that they keep quiet because of their pride and the shaming they have to face from others. If you don’t speak out, the media will hide your side!!! The parent’s side should be documented so that young individuals think about their parents.

Legal: The law will go by the written sections and by the version of the adults. It will never consider the parent’s side and it will not consider the pattern which the NIA founded out in Kerala. This is because marriage is something which happens between two individuals but this would not provide justice to all, especially to the family of Akhila/Hadiya. The law should provide justice to everyone by ignoring the parent’s side, is it providing justice to all sides? And if there is a pattern which is existing in Kerala, can we ignore it by saying it is a personal matter between two people! If it does, this would encourage people to convert other people, in the name of love. And most of the time it is the women who compromise whether it’s love or love jihad. The best brains in the country are handling this issue but this issue is challenging for them. We can only hope that justice will be done to all.
Lastly, marriage in India is between two families and this marriage will not go well if unknown people marry unknown people from other faiths. It is in the public domain, what people do to save their ‘honour’ in the society because has I said before, daughters are the pride of Indian families. In the end, one should ask that is it worth it? All will not be good after such marriages in your future family or your past family which you are ready to abandon. It can be the other way round also, that family can also abandon you in the future. But, if you are going for an inter-religious marriage, be smart and do things properly, don’t trouble others, especially the ones who have fed you, trusted you and have given everything, to see that you do well in life.

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