We get carried away by the philosophies of Love from movies, stories, and other random and non-descript springs. I know every young adult has the right to make his/her own choices when it comes to marriage. Today, I will not talk about love Jihad or honor killings but I will talk about why this is still distasteful for most of the Indian parents and families. Parents consider their daughters as their pride and when the female child switches religion, the family especially the parent’s face a lot of adversity. There is always psychological and social pressure. When their children switch religion it’s everyday death for the family they belong to. The parents will raise many arguments but the main debate is “Why can’t a guy switch his religion when he marries a woman from another religion? If his love is so countless, she should not make compromises rather she should accept her religion, there is no harm.
The second hardship that the parents go through is being labeled. In most cases, this leads to the social isolation of the family. Something which liberals never speak about, but in such marriages upbringing of the child is always questioned. Ultimately, it’s the parents that live with weight from all sides, above all if the daughter is happy in her married life, at least they have reasons to console themselves but if such marriages fail the repercussions are not very pleasing. Most of the couple fail to understand the difference between lust and love which has a very thin lining. Once they are done with covetousness, the so-called love fails. And in such scenarios, there are hardly any fallback options. Whereas arrange marriages are formed by the permission of parents/extended families and society at large, where two unknown individuals meet and share their lifetime bond. They share some thoughts regarding their likes and dislikes for a certain time then their families plan their marriage. According to me, the success is due to the family support in building these relations. As we all know, every association has to go through some ups and downs. When these associations are decided by families then they will make efforts to not make it long-lasting. Also, as both, the families of boys and girls belong to the same religion and nearly similar financial background (mostly) it brings both the families to similar standing and understanding.
In love marriages, the couple who knows each other closely, likeminded, and who don’t care about society and surroundings for any sort of dependency such marriages may succeed but they are rare in numbers. In most love marriages financial instability is a big deal, before marriage what matters to them is that so-called pull for each other, but after marriage when both the partners touch the responsibility of each other they start getting frustrated. They start judging each other, the entire love falls apart from the facts of life. They realize that their love is not sufficient for their marriage to sustain. Marriages change people and life too. We need to understand that love is not only the primary thing for marriage while it is a greater responsibility. Adjustments have to be made from both sides and family is also very important. These things people do not care about before falling in so-called infatuations, that make a drastic change after marriage. People find less time for each other and families are not very cool in India to accept love marriage very easily that’s why they never support them.
The law will always go by the written sections and by the version of the adults. It will never consider the parent’s side and it will not consider the pattern that society draws. This is because marriage is something that happens between two individuals but this would not provide justice to all, especially to the family where their children chose to marry in different religions. The law provides justice to everyone by ignoring the parent’s side. Lastly, the marriage in India is between two families and this marriage will not go well if people marry a person from other faiths.
In India, people strongly believe in their own traditions and faiths. They consider going against it is a sin and would give a curse for the next few generations. Our society has been instilling the values very strongly. One may be unhappy but has to follow social values. Such one important aspect is that parents are God and they shall make all important decisions for their kids. Parents in our society are inherently protective and dominating. They have to make all decisions for their children from which school to go, which clothes to wear, which career to dream for, which college to opt and finally whom to wed. That is because they fear their kids will make the wrong decisions and will ruin their own life.
love marriage never had a firm footing and mature minds. It has been a kind of action taken on the spur of the moment without any serious and mature thinking and advice. What they called love was temporary. During their ‘courtship’ days the couple meets for a short period and always tries to present their best to impress the other partner. However, they get disillusioned after marriage when they face the hard realities of life, and there start the actual problems which affect their relationship, and soon their ‘love’ marriage goes for a toss. We as responsible social existence, we should take liberties on our choices but that needs greater maturity to stand collectively. Meanwhile, if at all a child makes his/ her choices on choosing partners, no one gives permission to family or society to go for the kill in the name of honor or any sort of brutality.
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