Monday, September 27, 2021
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Why ‘woman” is enemy of “womanhood”?

We are living in the 21st century, talking and boasting about the woman’s liberation but somewhere our mindsets are unchanged and working like a previous century. We, as woman, are the enemies of womanhood. Maybe out of insecurity, jealous or that sadist pleasure of overpowering someone makes us feel superior and we land up committing atrocities against other woman? (Here I am saying “we”  being a part of woman species). Many learned men and think-tank commented long ago that the woman species are complicated and difficult to understand. There are many wicked women those not only vitiate minds of other women but lobbied against few to achieve their motives. This may be out of politics, neighbourhood or society they are living in.

From dowry deaths to brutality to woman in family, from mother-in-law to neighbour lady, if you get stuck in wrong place with wrong woman, life becomes hell and in such situations most cruel gossip mongers would be woman herself. We say womanhood is blessing because she brings another life to this earth, she is kind, tolerant and generous by nature. Mother Nature has blessed woman with all good things because she nurtures the generations. Sometimes I feel these statements are just bookish, the reason woman can be kind to her own children or her own people of some side but the moment it comes to larger perspective her nature changes.

Being a journalist and lawyer, I visit many family courts. Recently, I was doing feature on 498A, if you look at the documented evidences then in most of the cases, its woman who has drag other woman to court, let it be woman involved in extra marital affairs ( from both the sides, one who cheats marriage and one who engaged with other woman’s hubby). Atrocities and abuse in another saga, there are volumes to read and analyse. Married woman has her own challenges and single woman has worst of scenarios to face.

Just to quote one simple example I have, my next door neighbour who is single lady and I am also single female, we are friends too. We have our own lives and deal with the world. She is in her creative world and I am in my news world. We hardly meet but whenever we meet we laugh at mean world around us. From past few months, there is some garbage piled up in our corridors near the footwear stand and remain unattended. We were wondering, when society has passed a rule to keep the premises empty and clean, some negate the rules and like law abiding citizen its we two who not only follow rules but every day victimised and troubled for following rules. We keep our footwear in, our garbage in, our waste in but whenever we open the door other’s garbage is here to welcome us. One fine day, we just tried moving that garbage from our door, and one harsh voice came out saying “frustrated unmarried middle age bitches, they don’t have families, one is orphan other one is without family, and thank god I am getting married soon” then other woman’s voice came out from same family with all ultimate slangs, which are inappropriate in mentioning here. I sighted this example to tell Mumbai is metropolitan city, here many girls come to earn their living, and some are singles out of circumstances and some out of choice. But what is wrong if one is single? Aren’t we in much better position in comparison to others?

Also the question to ask is, how are you actually as a family, where do you stand? Do you have the right thinking, the right values, the right intellect, the right mutual love and respect and most importantly the right morals to question others morals? What is your contribution to your children, what is your contribution to your society, what is your contribution to the world? These are fundamental questions each one must ask their conscience before questioning others. Today when we are trying to educate men to respect women, we also need to consciously educate women to respect and honour other women too. What goes around always comes around… It’s law of karma.

My intention to write this edit is to just express my concern towards those women who are victimised by another woman and growing intolerance in woman’s world. Every family is blessed with some womankind, somewhere we all need to learn to be kind enough for others.

I grew up surrounded by lots of friends but most of them were boys. In my profession also, there are more males as compare with females. My office has more male population than females; my school had more boys than girls. Even today, my school and college friends meet me with the same feeling. As I grew up, I realized things haven’t changed much. Not that, I was a tomboy or something, I naturally jelled more with the boys or may be my school had less girls. I never had to bother about my plaits being in place, my frocks neat or mind my playthings, I am single or committed, I am at ease with them. Men always gave me less encounters than woman. They were easy, not pretentious and not bitchy. In fact the solidarity, I share with the guys was simple and hassle-free. Sometimes, they treat you as one of them, but surprisingly you feel comfortable in your own skin with them around. They are less judgemental; they hardly care about your looks, status.

Women, unlike men, are self-conscious about everything that they have. From the money they are making, to the brands they are wearing, to the way they look while they work out, they are at the constant war with their inner self. Some use this to get better each day while others compare this self-consciousness with the way how other girls are putting up, only to hate them even more. Women love gossiping about other women, about their clothes, makeup, walking style, boyfriends, or unnecessary tantrums. Sometimes even pass judgements, sometimes even lobbying by creating opinion about you for others.

Many women even tell their children to stay away from this person or that person, because the affection of one woman grabs the attention of other woman’s child. Women goes to an extent of poisoning the ears of their kids against particular entity if they decide to hate them. Anyways, I have criticised all the odds of woman but to conclude there are women who make wonderful lovers, wives, friends, mothers, daughters, companions, bosses and authorities. However, the kind of stuff she has seen while growing up might not have been exactly great. Except her mother most women in her life, her aunts, cousins, sisters, classmates had always been judgmental to the way she talks, dresses or looks. It’s sometimes not the boys but the other women in our lives to an extent are responsible for our conditioning. The rest, they say, is genes; women may like other women but never be too fond of them, they are made that way.

Let’s change by now…

Dr Vaidehi Taman
Dr Vaidehi an Accredited Journalist from Maharashtra is bestowed with Honourary Doctorate in Journalism, Investigative Journalist, Editor, Ethical Hacker, Philanthropist, and Author. She is Editor-in-Chief of Newsmakers Broadcasting and Communications Pvt. Ltd. for 11 years, which features an English daily tabloid – Afternoon Voice, a Marathi web portal – Mumbai Manoos, monthly magazines like Hackers5, Beyond The News (international) and Maritime Bridges. She is also an EC Council Certified Ethical Hacker, Certified Security Analyst and is also a Licensed Penetration Tester which caters to her freelance jobs.

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