For the fear of being judged, Indian society hates to see girls being open about sex talks. Men are not questioned for being sexually licentious, let alone for talking about sex. But for women, it’s a dreadful thing according to our society. They will be immediately labelled the female as ‘loose’ or desperate for talking about something common to all human beings.
They are made to believe that sex is nothing but a marital duty. Most Indian women think that it is their duty to have sex with their husbands rather than a way of communicating their love and their desires. They have sex only for conceiving children or satisfying their spouse’s needs. Its husband is given the upper hand to decide whether he has cravings or not.
Women’s needs are always secondary. Just because sex is attached to marriage and morality, young, single, unmarried ladies may find it difficult to find answers to their curiosity. It may stimulate anxiety and feeling of guilt in some. This depends a lot on the reaction or response of the other person like the parent, teacher, doctor, friend who is asked about these issues.
India is the country where the Kama Sutra, an ancient Hindu text composed between 400 BCE and 200 CE talks about sex positions and philosophy and theory of love, what triggers desire, what sustains it, how and when it is good or bad; however in the present society, most of the women do not consider having sex for their pleasure, but they assume that pleasure out sex is copyright of men, and if she feels the pleasure, then there is something morally wrong about it; she will be seen as a whore.
Hinduism is an umbrella of religions. It is like a union of many religions that are quite similar but have particular differences that make them unique. But they did not make it such a big deal as well. For instance, Hinduism is said to have various schools of thought. Each dealt with various ideas and has its own texts and works and each has unique values that, although similar, are not the same.
Though this has changed fairly, they do not talk about it in public because sex is considered taboo in India even in the 21st century. Lack of sex and over conservative nature of the elders is the main reasons behind this. We see many liberal women these days openly talk about sex in public but as soon as they do so media, politicians, and the public from all sides.
There are many countries where the death penalty prevails for talking about sex and all, it’s a basic human need, which needs to be discussed openly so that misconceptions and wrong belief can be eradicated, but still many feel that it’s shameful and especially for females if they talk openly about sex, they are labelled as characterless whereas male if they talk they are called stud and other praising words, but there are many countries where you could be in danger of your own life if you talk openly about it.
‘Sex’ and ‘desire for sex’ are emotions that are not portrayed as a natural thing, but something, which is attached to vulgarity or immorality. So, the attitude we develop towards sex plays an important role in being able to talk about it.
Women are embarrassed because people whom they consider knowledgeable, like Teachers and Doctors, themselves (most of the time) feel embarrassed to talk about it and often guard their talk about the matter by talking in a very abstract form/use of parable.
It is a sensitive issue and one needs to respect the person’s privacy, confidentiality, and anonymity. If there is a person with whom the women with the sexual problems have a good rapport with husband, friend, doctor, counsellor, therapist it is comparatively easier to talk about it.
Sometimes the socio-cultural background defines the priority for women’s health and quality of life; so, when there are other issues and worries, like husband’s illness, children’s studies, financial burden and loss, etc. talking about issues related to desire takes a back seat.
Any suggestions, comments or dispute with regards to this article send us at [email protected]